Where My Future is a Lesson for My Past

“In retrospect.” Gosh, I hate those words — not individually, but together, in that order. IN. RETROSPECT. Meaning: “Idiot. What part of “think ahead” did I miss? Where was I during the “don’t be stupid” lecture? How could I miss that one?”

Making a mistake — we all do it — but do we all do it in a way that makes us sick at our choices. I have had my fair share of them — mistakes, that is. I have made enough for me and at least one half of another person, assuming that person is twice as smart as me and makes half the mistakes, thereby allowing me to make enough to cover their gap. It’s not that I’m a clinical moron, but more that I’m impulsive, perhaps. Or maybe that I am adventurous… which sounds better.

Erring is no sin, failing is no fall from glory, and tripping up is no indication that you are an unfit person. It’s natural (more for some than others). My goal, however, is to stop making decisions that have me utter those hideous two words, in order. My goal is to use predictable action, speculating the ramifications of my choices in the moment, in an effort to avoid regret in my near future, saving myself the pains of carrying mental and emotional weight through life. Simply stopping, pondering, and speaking/acting slowly could be the thing that curbs my impulsive behavior, leading to regret.

I cannot undo the “stupid”, but I can learn from it. Pacing my temperament and looking for the positive can save face and keep me sane.