Here I sit

Staring forward I see a future. This future I see is uncertain, at best, jaded, at worst — a future that has my name written all over it. I wonder — often ponder — is this future in stone? Can some force, like a hurricane, change the course of my path? Can I, of my own ambition, or stupidity, grind my current future to a halt and then redirect it toward something else — better, worse, or just different? What principalities possess future-changing powers?

Of all the madness that fills each day, I cannot agonize over the details of things to come. Sure, there is always some nagging notion of “what if”, but I cannot allow that nagginess to curve my path. But wait?! What if that nagging IS my future? Could it be that — in some odd way — the voice that questions and re-questions, then questions my choices again is just a tool that encourages me along the way? Are the answers to the questions the steps that lead me on? Surely, there must be some guide that points me forward. Otherwise, I am left to wrestle with each decision, each choice, step after step, day after day, ad nauseam.

Yeah, well, such is life.