Finding a lover

So, you want a new lover? Ready for a bit of fun? Looking for that excuse to forsake all that once meant something for something that will soon mean nothing? Well, have I got a plan for you!

I call it the Facebook Fling. That’s right, it’s probably something you already have instant access to. Just open up your FB account, scroll through your list of friends, and pick an old flame, high school sweetheart, office buddy, parent of your 4-year old’s friend, or person you never met but friended because that person was a friend of a friend and you needed more friends.

Now, don’t rush it – starting with a private message will be a killjoy; rather, drop a comment about a photo, or reply to a post. If they reply, reply back. If they reply again, reply back with a subtle flirt – nothing much, just enough to make them smile – and wonder.

Next, wait a couple days and then drop a comment on their profile page. Bring up an “old story”, “remember when”, or “just thought of you”. Make it innocent, because everybody will see it, which will create a feeling of ease with your friend, like you’ve got nothing to hide. Your friend will reply, most likely, as will others, so the ever-so-flirty teasing will feel safe. Don’t stop dropping more comments on photos and posts through this process, but just make sure you’re not overdoing it.

Depending on your friend, this next step may take a few more days, or even a couple weeks, but you’re ready to move toward the “can I ask you something” private message. This message is usually about trouble with your spouse, or current attachment. It makes no suggestions, only elicits the help of a “caring, concerned” friend. Word it to see where your friend stands in their own relationship. And remember, this message should drag on for several replys; don’t try to lay it all out at the start.

Once you have bled the message, and reached a hopeless point, start with pondering “what might have been”. If your friend shares your interest, “what might have been” quickly becomes “what could be”. Don’t worry about the details of when and where, because in your lust-driven state, any place and any time will do.

Final thought, through this process, you may discover that your friend stops replying, comes clean with another friend, gets roped by a “mutual friend” first, or the friend’s current “in a relationship with” is dangerous. If any of these unfortunate situations happen to you, don’t fret it, chances are you have 1,276 more friends to choose from. Their loss, right?

Warning: don’t use chat to connect with your friend. Statistics show that many FB users leave their page online and visible for siblings, spouses, and other friends to access. Unwanted results may occur.